Update

For those of you who were concerned about the sad lack of toast in my home (see my last post), I have managed to overcome that particular hurdle. My father came up with a genius plan to get me a functional toaster without losing money. I found a local store which stocked the very same toaster (the fancy new Back to Basics egg & muffin toaster) and I bought a second one. Counterintuitive, right? Now armed with a receipt I put the old defective toaster in the new box and returned it. The new toaster works beautifully. I have toast! I have toast and eggs!
Today is a good day.